Typical Childhood Worries or Something More?

How do you know when your child’s fears have turned from everyday worries to something that might need some extra help? It’s not always obvious when a child is struggling with anxiety.
 
Kids can’t always tell us what’s on their mind. The area of the brain that puts words to a feeling or a visceral response is just starting to learn its job in childhood. This is a big reason why it can be tough to know what is going on with your kiddo.
 
You can’t always trust what your child tells you verbally. Not only do kids need our help naming emotions, sometimes they try to mask vulnerable emotions. Your child might tell you everything is fine and if that’s what you’re desperate to hear you might be tempted to take their word for it. But you need to be the detective. If something feels off, something probably IS off.
 
Signals your child might be struggling with anxiety:

• Since your child might not have the words to tell you what they are feeling, their body might be doing the talking. Children with anxiety typically have somatic complaints like headaches, tummy aches, difficulty concentrating, falling asleep, staying asleep and nightmares. They might also be fidgety, feel jittery and have difficulty with self-control.
• Their behavior might also be doing the talking. Anxiety can manifest as moodiness, melt downs, tantrums and angry behavior problems when a child is frustrated by their big emotions and doesn’t know how to identify what they are feeling and express it, let alone manage it.
• Or there might be a lack of positive behaviors. You might notice an increase in avoidance, extreme shyness, freezing or difficulty going to school, meeting new people or avoiding previously enjoyed social activities.

 
If your child’s struggles are impacting daily life, school performance, family or social relationships, it might be time to ask for some help. 

Anxiety can get better, and quickly! I love helping kids and adults overcome anxiety because it is so responsive to counseling! When people start to learn just a few tools and practice them regularly, anxiety typically takes a dramatic decline. For children, having a place to work through their big emotions and learn how to safely feel and constructively express those emotions can make a big impact. You can learn more about counseling for kids here. 
 
Asking for help does not mean you are failing or inadequate as a parent! Contradictory from what our culture tells us, you were made to need other people. You were not made to do it all (including parenting) on your own. When you ask for help you’re modeling for other people what a mature parent does. If you’re wondering if your child might benefit from some help, reach out! Ask a pediatrician, a pastor, a friend or call a counselor. 

I would love to chat with you for 30 minutes on the phone, free of charge, to see if counseling could be helpful for you or your child. Click here to start the conversation.

Photo by Janko Ferlič

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